Christmas has always been a big thing for everyone around the world. It is where we appreciate what we have, we are grateful for everything and we make sure to be with loved once, either family or friends that means the world to us.
Christmas is also where we spend way to much money on things to give people. It is great and we try to make it as personal as possible.
I like Christmas. I like the idea of this time of the year bringing people together.
.. But not everyone can be brought together. Every year it gets easier – or that is what I make people believe. It will never get easier. I will just be better at hiding the pain. When I hide it, it is to protect myself and to give me the space I need sometimes. The amazing people I have around me will always protect me and be there for me. I love them for that! But the grief can no one take away.
Grief is what makes me feel I am still alive. It shows me that I have loved and have been loved. I am embracing that feeling as something I deserved. I deserve love and I therefor am grateful for being able to feel that once and I will feel that again.
This Christmas is my first one in Denmark after I started grieving. A Christmas I honestly feel nothing for. I feel loved and I am looking forward to celebrating with my family tomorrow. But I also wouldn’t mind just being with them any other day at the year. Christmas hurts but makes me feel everything. I like feeling. I like knowing what I had, have and will have.
It sounds very cheesy but can not be more sincere.
It will always hurt but I am looking forward to everything life has to offer!
Merry Christmas – remember to embrace and be grateful even though it might be the most painful thing you have ever done. It is what makes you the one YOU are and only YOU.