Struggles?!

Struggles in life … everyone has them. Everyone struggles with things. Some people struggle with money, parents, drugs, alcohol, boys, school you name it. Struggling in life is more than just having a bad time.

I am struggling every single day! I struggle with the loss of my husband. I struggled with my moms serious accident. I struggle with the love and care I have for someone I can not have. I struggle with missing my friends. I struggle with me and myself. And I struggle with my feelings – every day!

I often ask myself what I’m doing with my life and where I am going – I always go to the conclusion that I do what I want and dream about. I dream about being with someone who loves me like I love him. Someone to take me as I am and with the past I have. I dream about snow and skiing. I dream about my biggest dreams to come true!

It is very difficult for me to open up for anyone. I lost someone special – and if I open up again I can loose that too. “How can I loose again if I let myself love?” – I can. And I did. I will always have to put myself out there to figure out if it’s right. If I don’t I will never know. But if I do I always know that there is a chance that I will get hurt.

Who can not let themselves feel love and joy? I will always let myself do that even though it might mean I crash hard and I loose love again. But at least I had that – I had love and I had joy.

Remember to throw yourself out there – otherwise you will never know if it’s right! ❤

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