I am cleaning out my closet. Literally and figuratively. I am leaving Sydney next week and have to throw things out and pack the rest.
On a more personal note I am cleaning out my closet of negatives. I don’t need it in my life. I realized the last few weeks that I am too good hearted to some people that don’t deserve my love and support. For a long time I have been sorting the negative things out and I am still really good at that. Sometimes I just forget it for a little while and then I sit there with negative and poisonous people around me. People that are not doing me anything good. People that are using me. People that only take their time to see me when it’s convenient for them. People that take me for granted. People that use my support and trust for their own gain. People that doesn’t give anything to me. People that are not honest with themselves. People that think it’s okay to use other people.
I don’t want people like that in my life. I have let a few people in to my life that turned out to be that. If I had looked good and hard at them, I would’ve seen this. I would’ve seen that they are not good people. That they use people. I am good at reading people but sometimes I try to push my first read and impression of them away to give them a chance. I’m very few situations they prove my first impression wrong. But most of the times it stick and they turn out to be exactly what I thought they would be. That is for me so sad. I always believe in the best in people – one of the things that is a major flaw but also major positive I have.
I have deleted and pushed these people away now. They are no longer welcome in my life.
I am cleaning out my closet. I want amazing people that will give me as much priority as I give them.
Don’t take me for granted. I don’t deserve it! I know I don’t.
When life keeps you busy you just gotta go with it. I am currently on mid break from uni in Sydney and traveling around Australia, which is why I haven’t posted anything in a while.
I am happy and enjoying my life and will make posts as soon as I get back to my computer and have time for it.
In the meantime – remember to be happy. If you want to laugh do it, don’t let people tell you what you can and can’t do. 😘
That feeling of : “no this can’t be real. Can I be this? No it can’t be real!”
I had that feeling today. It seems so unreal everything happening around me.
In the past 3 years I have been across the globe and back. I’ve been so many places and I can honestly say I’ve been complete in it and happy with it. I have not done anything I would regret or trade for anything. What I have done since my husband died has all been for me – to take my mind to the state of ME and the new ME!
But still I get the feeling that all of this can’t be real. How can I deserve this? How can I be this lucky?
It hit me full on in the train going to the airport. I looked at the Opera House in Sydney out of the train. In that second my life made me loose my breath. How can your life make you loose your breath!? I honestly don’t know. But in that moment, for 10 seconds, I was the happiest I had been in a long time. I was in the most safe place in a long time. I was in complete and utterly peace! WOW!
Take a look around you – take a deep breath – think of what has happened and was is ahead of you. Think of how lucky you are to be alive. Think of how fast it can be taken away. Think of what you have been through. Think of where it had taken you.
Look at where you are! Inhale the pain and exhale the love! ❤️
I think I made it to number 26 – so here comes 5 more.
26. I have three piercings.
27. I am a very good procrastinator – currently writing this post instead of doing my assignment. I always finish my things in time even though I am pushing them sometimes.
28. I imitate the train speakers very well. I always repeat what they say in trains and busses and so on and I have a feeling I would be really good at it if I was doing that as a job.
29. My favourite parfume is and always has been Ralph by Ralph Lauren. Its amazing.
30. Since I was about 6 or 7 I have collected the Swarovski figurines. The most important things is that; they can not have colours on them and their eyes has to be black dots only – so it is only the transparent ones I have. I have about 15 different ones or so.
To be continued
This is not gonna be a positive life is good post. This is be good or be gone kinda post.
I am so sick of people lying to themselves and the way they lie to other people because of that. I am a very positive person. I trust and I believe in the best in people. This is who I am! But when I get bulldozed over and over again I get angry. I turn in to a very ugly person.
I do not on purpose hurt someone or intend to ruin their life’s or their days. I do not try to lie to people to make things easier because I know it will bite me in the ass later. I do not ignore people because I know how I feel about being ignored.
I am a very genuine person. What I say is what I mean. What I do is what I want to do.
I do not lie! I do not want to ruin other people’s life’s. I am honest because I expect others to be honest to me!
I am so tired of people being halfhearted or fake or whatever. If you want to be my friend you are in it or you are not. That means that you don’t come of with excuses or maybes or whatever. I do everything for my friends and I damn right expect them to do the same.
This is not pointed at one specific person, it’s pointed at more people, situations, my friends being screwed over and so on.
I am no angel! Oh no I am not. I know I make mistakes and I own up to them! I say sorry because when I do something that hurt someone else I don’t like it and I never intended to hurt them.
I am just sick of fake people throwing bullshit at me or others. Stop f’ing lying, stop lying to yourself!
Be honest with me already. If you want me to be in your life show it. If you want someone else to be in your life tell them and show them. Don’t be a douche and pretend. Don’t be that person that is only hanging out with someone when it’s convenient. Don’t be the person that is all over the place because you don’t listen to what YOU really want.
Stop already! Just be honest. Sometimes the truth hurts and so what?! Better than the alternative.
And ending this with a peace and love to everyone. This writing it down helped with my angry thought. Ready to take on the day!