Keep going

Keep going

Some days will always be a feeling of a big blank spot. Sometimes emotions overwhelm us and we need to recharge. I know I get that feeling. When I do get that feeling I start to read what I wrote a while back and I start reading quotes that are inspiring to me.

I read the post the hard truth I wrote just about 2 years ago. Back then I had just been dumped you might say, I was struggling with where I was, where I had been and where I was going. I noticed that I called myself naive when I read it today. Naive because I believed in the opportunities instead of the barriers. If believing that everything happens for a reason (sometimes the things happening aren’t good and we can’t really see why it happened) is being naive, then I am still naive. I still believe that we all go somewhere in life for a reason. I don’t believe there is one purpose for all of us or one specific plan. There is just some things we can’t change.

A few of my friends are currently sending me great news or sad news. I am so sorry for my friends going through hard times in their life but if I have learned something, it is that sometimes hard things need to happen for good things to appear.

I am overly happy and bubbling with joy that a few friends are doing what they dreamed of. And here I will say the name – Mira you are a freaking inspiration to me. With you being as strange and funky as me, maybe even more sometimes, I adore how you embrace life. You are starting your dream education soon and I can not be happier for you! You are such a spiritual person that, when you send me links and quotes, make me think “what the hell is this” and at the same time “wow that hit me in the right spot”. You know when you need a break and you are true to yourself. Keep it up – remember down times always brings good times afterwards. ❤

The post I wrote 2 years ago also got me thinking that I really have changed since then. I am a more happy person now. I still follow my dreams and I still believe that we all have control of our own lifes. I still believe that we need to be upset and happy when we feel like it. I let myself be upset when I am upset because I know my mind needs to go through the feeling. Don’t push feelings away – they will only come rolling back times a thousand. And be happy when you are happy. I know I can sometimes make people feel I am not on their level of happy or upset but that is because I can’t always relate. I do apologise for that but I will also say I will try to be better at saying when I don’t follow or can’t keep up.

I like to know the truth – and if someone has something they don’t like about me I want them to tell me. If I don’t know I can’t change it.

Sending love to everyone. Embrace your feelings. ❤

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Blue Mountains Grand Canyon trail

Blue Mountains Grand Canyon trail

About a week and a half ago my friend Tat took me on a roadtrip (I actually spend the entire weekend with her, second home from home). We went to the Blue Mountains and on the trail called Grand Canyon – it’s not like the one in the states.

It is so beautiful and such a great day. I don’t have much to say about except I like how I am around Tat. She makes me happy and I am very lucky to have met her in Canada.

Here is some pictures from our trip.

There seem to be a theme for me – can you guess what it is? 😉 (hint – the sense of feeling things in your hands is important)

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Sunday mood

Sunday mood

My Sunday mood today is absolutely amazing. My souls has been filled with exactly what I needed the past few weeks and this weekend topped it with Nicola visiting me from Melbourne.
My mind and spirit and soul has been filled with love and gratitude.

I am very grateful with where my life is today. I have been through hell and back and here I am in this beautiful country – another beautiful country – and I feel so amazed with what I am capable of and what willpower can do.

I am in a very good place in my life and where things are going.
Sometimes we need to follow what feels good. Sometimes what we do needs to be said out loud and say it proud.

I am so insanely proud of myself! I will let my self feel awesome because I am. Yes I am so proud of traveling to the complete opposite side of the world and on my own – AGAIN.

Doing my uni studies in Australia as a part of my degree at home! Damn that is not something anyone gets to do – but I am. I am a little amazed by it, nope a lot!

I am a uni student at Macquarie university in Sydney Australia. Hihi sounds so cheesy – but that's just me (a little hint to an inside joke Tat lol)!

Do whatever you can do – don't let people put you down because they are jealous. If they are really someone caring for you they will support you.

DO IT! 💪

The ping pong life

The ping pong life

Here comes a post about random thoughts that just came to me – something I have been through.

I have been single for a little while now. It did not end the way I wanted lets just say it like that. The funny thing about this is, it did not come out of nowhere. I had seen it coming for quite some time. I saw the signs that he didn’t want to be with me. I saw that he didn’t prioritise me. I still had the thought – what if… ? As soon as you feel like that you are not in the right place. Don’t just keep going – that’s what everyone tells us. They say: “why are you still with this person” or “you should not be treated like that” and so on. It all makes perfect sense AFTER. It makes sense when you are out of it and look back at what that thing was. Was it really something you wanted to spend your time on? Well yeah maybe that was exactly what you felt was right and could have been absolutely mind blowing perfect IN A DIFFERENT TIME. See things are not always what it looks like. Maybe the person you were with would have been the one for you if you had met them in another scenary or another time in your life. It’s really not easy to know what could have been.

This situation I was in was an insanely good match – okay so this story can actually fit on 2 people in my life. The match was perfect in that sense that we really hit it off and people could see how good we were for each other. The problem was either one or the other was ready for that kind of love or relationship. One story goes in to becoming the best friends in the world and I love him to pieces and miss him. The other story goes a little different – it’s the last one this post is about.

That guy ended up being really mysterious and not taking his time to see me, to be with me or anything like it was in the first few months. To begin with he showed me everything you need and want in a relationship; commitment and prioritising that person. Almost in an instant it changed. I still had the thought – what if it actually could go back to what was. Nah don’t fool yourself Maria – Well maybe it could – those were the thoughts going in and out of my mind all the time. I was in a constant limbo of “I’m done” or “I’ll talk to him and see what he wants”.

I know we all have been in this situation and we can’t really see it until we are out of it. Which is actually okay! Remember to enjoy it as long as you are actually enjoying it. But in the second it becomes a battle – is it really worth it? NO! Love, relationship etc. should not be a constant battle or a bunch of why’s – it should be bumpy and easy. Bumpy means that you need that edge in a relationship and easy means it shouldn’t be a struggle to get to see the other person or feel their love for you.

Not sure what I wanted to say with this – think it came out of me thinking where I was in my life and that I am really feeling that I have something to give and I want to give it to someone who cares for me and thinks I am amazing. Someone who opens doors for me and thinks I am beautiful when I just woke up in my PJ’s. Someone who looks at me like I am the most beautiful woman in the world. Someone who appreciates me doing the exact same thing to him. Being the ping pong, being that person the person calls when something happens, that person that you want to tell everything to and that tells you everything.

WE ALL DESERVE IT. Sometimes it just takes time. I know I have had it once and I believe I will have it again. Maybe it is right in front of me and maybe I need to do some soul searching and see it. What I do know, is that holding on to the feeling someone that wasn’t good for you made you feel – is not good. I still feel like I could’ve done something different – but when I really think about it and then it really comes to it – it takes two to tango. You need that ping pong buddy.

This became a way longer post than I thought. Hope it at least made you stop and think if you are in the right place in your life. Feel in your guts if that is the right thing for you. Don’t overthink it, just feel it!

Good day/night wherever in the world you are. ❤

Roadtrip to Kiama

Roadtrip to Kiama

Many people would be out clubbing or partying almost every night and having a blast that way. I am a person that makes a big thing out of being with the people that means the most. This leads to me going on a roadtrip last weekend.

Saturday after the sealife and wildlife I went to Tatjana’s place and we went out for dinner with her boyfriend and friends. Had such a good night! Amazing group of people.

Sunday we were supposed to wake up early – Tat comes ind at 7.40 “psst wake up beautiful, we are running a little late” – no shit sherlock we planned to leave the house at 8 am. Lol. We were not in a rush and it was a day of doing what we felt like. It ended with laughter, talking, singing in the car, acting crazy, walking on rocks in Kiama and I was supposed to see the blow hole but I think it had taken a nap when we were there, because it did not blow anything up that hole. I will get to see if at some point. The point of the day was to have fun and enjoy our wonderful life and we did!

What a great friend and her boyfriend is amazing too. I can’t wait to have many more adventures with them.

The weekend is coming up faster than you think – and we will meet up friday, go to her place and have the entire weekend being awesome once again. I feel warm in my heart. I don’t need anything else but me and my peeps. 😉